I am quite comfortable riding on my own ,, those long audax events were usually ridden at my pace , in my own space .. there will have been loads of people at the controls ,, and on the road,, in front of me ,, or behind was irrelevant .. i was riding at my pace .. judging my progress against my target ... finish inside the time limit. 

This ride is going to be different .. no time limit .. no distance to the next control .. just how you feeling .. do you want to push yourself and ride further today , or this place looks nice ,, shall i find a bed and some good food and call it a day

So completly different from the self driven audax  targets 

historically family and friends had for years accepted that i was driven to achieve my own objectives .. weird and incomprehensible as they were to them . They were what made me .who I was . Riding a 200kms every month for 12 consecutive months ... or Randonneur round the year as it was called.. I I did a dozen of those , Ride inside the time limits a 200, 300, 400 and a 600  in the audax year .. meant that you were categorised as a super randonneur .. Do 10 of those and then you are known as an Ultrarandonneur, I  did that starting when 65 and finishing at 74 .

But this so  different .. i know already that i shall welcome company .. someone to chat to , share a few kms , exchange experiences and advice 

Am i going to find company ..is this going to be  so different from my riding past that i will be happy just taking each day as it comes .. with no specific objective in mind to measure myself .. success or fail .. lets just see

If you have read this far .. then I apologise for my ramblings .. but this 83 year old ... with his wife in a care home .. is confused about the future ,, his physical powers are declining .. and the huge question he is struggling with is 

" What does the futuire hold for him , in his remaining years"