All the Elements of Suck

December 27, 2025

Mae Wong Districk to Lan Sak

Dear little friends,

I am not a person who sleeps through the night so when I woke up and it was 5:30 AM I was thrilled to pieces. Not enough to go back to sleep of course. It had been a hot, tiring day yesterday and I fell asleep before 9, I’m sure. Our guesthouse host was probably a little hurt that we disappeared into our bungalow in the early afternoon and never came out again, even to see his lovely plantings and all the sweet places along the riverside to sit and watch kingfishers and other natural wonders.

But we did a little of that in the morning, there were coffee packets and hot water and small snacks on offer and we enjoyed that for a few moments before leaving. The birdsong I’d been blissing out on was suddenly interrupted by the owner putting on some Anne Murray song that would earworm torment me for the remainder of the day. You don’t expect Anne Murray in Thailand, in fact I hadn’t heard Anne Murray’s music since I flew on Air Canada in 1985. Bruce had never heard of Anne Murray but agreed it was time to leave.

Nearby the guesthouse was a highly recommended khao man gai (chicken rice) place and it made a perfect breakfast. But temperatures are still in the mid-80s by noon which means near 100 on the pavement so let’s get going.

Our route today was basically straight south, mostly on the same highway. We turned onto it and it was immediately apparent that this might be a taxing day.

It’s a small highway, and is in unusually bad (for Thailand) condition, with lots of raggedy patches and an overgrown shoulder. There would be intermittent stretches of new asphalt and a wider shoulder but then it would devolve again. Huge sugar cane trucks with double trailers would wail by us. The long straight stretches made nearly all the other traffic fly by too. It wasn’t heavy traffic, but the drivers seemed to be bunched up and all meeting and passing each other at the same time.

The random sugar cane stalks that fall out of those big cane haulers were far more numerous than the other day, and many of them were fresh canes, basically broom handles lying in the shoulder. The already-squished-flat ones were fine, the round ones were super hazardous, you have to avoid them if possible. Many split-second decisions were made today about whether to swerve around them into the traffic lane or try to go over them at a right angle so as not to get kicked out into traffic anyway.

We stopped in the shade and Bruce balefully said, “I’m done with this road.” Unfortunately, the road wasn’t done with us and we still had 20 miles more on it.

There was a gorgeous mountain ridge to the west of us, covered in tall jungle. Absolutely stunning. There were cute birds on wires, picturesque fields and farms, unusual irrigation sprinklers misting up some corn. There was tons to look at, but we were focused on the road, there were few opportunities to stop safely and photograph these things, it was kind of a bad day of riding if we’re being honest.

This is the classic Thai rest area. This color and style of roof has been used for 50 years or more.

And that is something that can happen on a bike tour, there are days that kind of suck.

Being close to the mountain meant that while our road was arrow straight, it did have some slight rollers, that’s fine, we’re getting stronger, they were no big deal. But there were moments when all the elements of suck would come together. A slight uphill, a cement truck barging past a farm tractor with oncoming traffic having to take the shoulder, a headwind, oh, and some dogs running out from the front forty to bark at our heels, which are slow heels because we’re going uphill. All we need is a rough potholed narrow bridge to bring this masterpiece of suck into focus. Yep, got that too.

Another pit stop in the shade to drink from our water bottles and look at each other with zero twinkle in our eyes.

The last ten miles or so were on a much better road. The sun was starting to beat down. I could feel something on my left butt cheek that did not feel nice at all. Today would be the day that I got the beginnings of my first ever saddle sore and that’s really pissing me off.

Thais are so creative and interested in trying new things.

We got into Lan Sak and went looking for a coffee shop where we could get an icy drink and consider our options. Lan Sak turned out to be a bustling little market town and I realized that the stern text messages I’ve been getting from AIS (my cell phone provider) to follow Thai law and get my phone number re-registered with a photo of myself and my passport or else needed to be answered by a more competent person than myself.

The first phone store we went into didn't do squat with AIS but that didn’t stop the gal from taking my phone and trying to show me on a map where the AIS shop is, and I mean, she took five full minutes of frantically scrolling around on Google maps! I just wanted my phone back. A customer that spoke English told me to turn right and then go down the street and look on the left. I had to reach in and grab my phone back. Was I in the mood for that? Nope.

But the AIS lady had me all up and lawful in two shakes of a lamb’s tail and we found our guesthouse out in the rice fields and I got my shower and air conditioning and there is a restaurant across the street so we’re good. Well, mostly good. There’s still a little matter of that potential saddle sore.

Often treats like this come with the room.

The restaurant is next to a rice field and the food was good. There is a little platform to stand on and watch the sun set over the mountains. Mango trees blossom with tiny fetal mangoes. We’re having more fun than a sort of bad day would warrant. That can happen too.

Into one of those round convex mirrors for cars. Our bungalow is in the background.

Today's ride: 34 miles (55 km)
Total: 798 miles (1,284 km)

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Steve Miller/GrampiesWhat a pita,! We always carry a small container of Bag Balm, a soothing medicated lubricating salve for moments such as these. Barring that, Tiger Balm applied very sparingly might do in a pinch. Good luck,
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4 weeks ago

Annette SchneiderUse Desitin, a diaper rash cream with zinc oxide, to help dry the affected area.
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4 weeks ago

Jen RahnI appreciate all of the glimmers you found on this Zero Eye Twinkle day!

And this was the first time I've seen the expression "two shakes of a lamb's tail". That's an image that will keep me smiling today.
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3 weeks ago