118: angels singing, tread lightly, ddd, call me jimmy, can on a twig, wienerlicious, the bridge, ferry ride, horse health, grand hotel, stonecliffe, preferences, dropping a stake, ice bridge, rainbows, arch, doud's, 1st ayd, 2 fans, airing it out

September 4, 2025

Wilderness to Mackinac Island

We awoke to a beautiful morning, if still windy. I'm sure I heard angels singing as I took this picture.

We ate breakfast in our tents, and got off to a pleasantly slow start for the day. It didn't rain all morning then, unbelievably, it started raining on us fifteen seconds into our ride. Although, now that rain within two minutes of starting to pedal is becoming commonplace, "unbelievable" is probably no longer the best descriptor.

The tailwind this morning was nice, if only for the ten miles to Mackinaw City.

Even after doing some googling, I was never able to determine the connection between the Historical Society and this section of woods.

again guys, NOT a bra company.... it's a dumpster. I wonder what the three Ds stand for.

We found a splendid bike path for the last section into Mackinaw City.

Someone stuck the end of a branch into this can so it's just dangling there.

With a name like Wienerlicious, how can anyone resist? I'll bet there are hardcore vegans standing in line to get a bite out of this dog (and look at the wind hitting the flag).

Wienerlicious indeed. Yum! And did someone drop a couple of coins onto the top? Unless, maybe those are sewer grates?

While we were waiting for the next ferry to take us to Mackinac Island, we pedaled over to the base of "The Bridge," aka the Mackinac Bridge, the Mighty Mac, and Big Mac.

When I learned that the Bridge is 4.995 miles long, my first thought was “Really?!? They couldn't add another 26 feet to make it 5 miles??”

The next time you go to a dinner party, if you really want to impress other guests, force these bridge facts into the conversation with the new people you meet:
+ Before the bridge opened in 1957 the only way to cross was a ferry, and during deer hunting season it wasn’t uncommon for the line of cars to stretch for 15 miles, with an accompanying wait of up to 24 hours.
+ It’s the longest suspension bridge between anchorages (the central tall towers) in the Western Hemisphere, and the 113th longest bridge in the world.
+ The same person who worked on the Brooklyn Bridge restoration, engineer David B. Steinman, designed the Mackinac Bridge.
+ In high winds, the bridge’s deck can safely sway up to 35 feet from side to side.
+ Something I never considered is that the towers and piers are designed to withstand enormous ice pressure from winter floes - ice crushes things.

From there we pedaled to a small grocery store for some snacks to eat on the ferry then, on the way to purchase passage, down Central Avenue where there are shops offering souvenirs you can only buy at their store, and also at every other store in town.

I've always been curious about going to one just for fun, but I suspect the cost for 15 minutes of amusement would be prohibitive. Besides, "You are going to get wet in the near future" isn't that hard to predict.

At least they're being honest about who they are. Makes me want to buy something.

After arriving right on time at the ferry's ticket office we waited in line under the tent as it began to rain again. At last, when it was my turn to purchase a ticket I was informed that they don't use Tap-to-Pay, only an actual credit card, so I trotted back out in the rain to the bike and started over.

Eventually, I purchased our two tickets and, after getting into the line, we advanced slowly toward the boat. An employee saw us with our bikes and came over to let us know that we need a "bike tag." This $20.00 fee is, I assume, to discourage you from bringing your own bike to the island, and instead rent one from the numerous vendors that have agreed to take your money. Another sprint to the ticket office and back, then we're set.

Once on the ferry, another employee separated us from our bikes, placing them among the rabble of other cycles. As we were entering the cabin, I noticed a strong smell of urine permeating the place. After checking my pants, I looked around and determined that it's probably a result of the numerous pets they allow on the ship, all of them secretly marking their territory. Once I realized that, I didn't mind as much - it's better than some guy in the corner standing with his back to me.

Mackinac Island (pronounced "Mackinaw") has a population of only 582 people, but it's a popular tourist destination and accommodates more than a MILLION vacationers every year. It's only accessible by ferry or plane, and personal motor vehicles haven't been allowed since 1895 when “horseless carriages” were banned in order to "protect the health of the island horses and residents.”

Curious, I googled how having no horseless carriages would "help protect the health of horses," and learned their reasoning: early automobiles were noisy and unpredictable, frequently backfiring, emitting strange smells, and moving in jerky starts. The locals at that time were concerned that these newfangled machines would spook the horses, leading to runaways, accidents, injuries, and even deaths (both for people and the animals).

The only motorized vehicles currently allowed are emergency vehicles (ambulance, police cars ,and fire trucks), city service vehicles, and snowmobiles in winter. The first recorded vehicular crash on Mackinac Island happened in 1979 when a drunk snowmobiler collided with a horsedrawn carriage - drinking and driving, not surprising.

The translation of the original Anishinaabek Native American name (“Michilimackinac”) means “place of the great turtle,” and reminds me of The Great A’Tuin. In that cosmology, the earth is a flat disc resting on the backs of four enormous elephants, which themselves stand atop the shell of the great cosmic turtle, The Great A’Tuin, as it swims through space.

The Grand Hotel will add to our checklist of "The World's Biggest and Best." It has The World's Longest Front Porch, at 660 feet, which is filled with rocking chairs so you can sit and watch the sun set... that is, if you're willing to cough up the $12.00 required to access it. Of course, if you rent a room for the night you won't have to pay that $12.00. Considering that the rooms are slightly more that $1,000 a night, how can you not stay there? With that kind of savings, it practically pays for itself.

Some additional information about The Grand Hotel:
+ It was originally built by two railroad companies and a steam ship company who wanted to create a grand destination for the gilded age traveler to escape the scorching summer heat, dust, and dirt of America’s industrial cities.
+ No two guest rooms are alike. Each of the 397 rooms has its own unique character, decorated by Carleton Varney, known for his design consultancy at the White House. Considering how colorful the rooms are, as well as the motels I've been staying in, I think I might go blind if I even entered one. Here's a link to the Photo Gallery so you'll see what I mean. I began having some vision loss just viewing the rooms online.
+ Five U.S. Presidents have visited the Grand Hotel: Harry Truman, John F. Kennedy, Gerald Ford, George H.W. Bush, and Bill Clinton.
+ The hotel has a long association with the same family, beginning in 1919, and owned solely by them for almost a hundred years. W. Stewart Woodfill came to the Grand Hotel in 1919 and began working as a desk clerk. Step by step he worked his way up the ranks to manager and eventually purchased it in 1933. His nephew, Dan Musser, came to work full time at the hotel in 1951 and, like his uncle, ascended the ranks to president. He ultimately bought the hotel from his uncle in 1979, keeping it in the same family, until 2019 when he sold it to KSL Capital Partners, a private equity corporation.
+ The hotel maintains more than 125,000 flowers. More than one ton of flower bulbs are planted each Autumn to create the gardens on the Grand Hotel's grounds..... geraniums, the hotel’s signature flower, as well as tulips and daffodils. These are best seen, unsurprisingly, from the front porch and, as mentioned earlier, that view can be yours for only $1,000.
+ Somewhere in Time, the 1980 film starring Christopher Reeves and Jane Seymour was filmed at the Grand Hotel.
+ This Time for Keeps, filmed in 1947 and starring Esther Williams, was also filmed here. They named the swimming pool after her. The swimming pool?? I wondered why, and learned that she was a competitive swimmer prior to her acting career, and was on the 1940 Olympic team headed for Tokyo when World War II intervened.
+ Sadie’s Ice Cream Parlor, ensconced in the hotel, is named after the owners' dog (Sadie), who won Best in Show at the 2010 Westminster Dog Show. The ice cream parlor sells Grand Hotel Pecan Ball Ice Cream (I had no idea pecans had balls), and uses more than 6,000 pounds of the nuts every year to make it. That gives you an idea of how many tourists illuminate the island on an annual basis.

There are a couple of additional superlatives on the island, but they're local instead of our usual "World's Best."
+ The Wawashkamo Golf Club, Michigan's oldest golf course, was built in 1898.
+ Sainte Anne's is Michigan's oldest Catholic Church. The original mission dates back to 1670. Not The World's Oldest, but pretty old nonetheless.

You can see Sadie's Ice Cream Parlor on the right.

Unable to afford $1,000/night, we rode to our hotel.

We arrived before the 3:00 check-in, so Lori went in to see if we could drop off our bags before riding the 8-mile perimeter of the island. They assured us that it wouldn't be a problem, and when they couldn't find our reservation under either of our names the attendant asked the name of the place we're staying. "Sunset Condos," she replied. We were at the wrong place, but at least it wasn't a Warm Showers host this time. This place, Stonecliffe, costs $700/night, about five times the cost of our modest accommodations. I think the extra "E" at the end of the name allows them to charge more.

Although, of course, the lower cost of our hotel could be because it was cramped and unadorned with amenities such as "sanitation."

This is our first time in a hotel together so, after going to the restroom I stepped out and, not wanting to get off on the wrong foot, announced:
“Please note that the pubic hair on the toilet seat isn’t mine.”
Without missing a beat Lori responded:
“I’d prefer it was.”

We did some washing in the sink then, checking the weather forecast to make sure it wasn't going to rain anymore, hung the clothes out on the deck. Our main concern was that the raging 20-25 mph wind would blow our clothes over Stonecliffe, or to the Grand Hotel.

I haven't yet told you what Lori's profession is, and now seems to be a good time to do that since she wanted to put in a bit of work before we left for our ride. She's a burglar, a skilled one, and I found it interesting to learn some of her practices.

Her first piece of advice: "Get in and out quickly."

Her second piece of advice: "If someone catches you, make sure you have a plausible excuse ready to go." In this case, she was prepped with, "I dropped my tent stake onto the balcony below." I was surprised because, wow, that's TOTALLY unconvincing. As if ANYone would believe that!

We started our ride around the island and along the way learned of its military history. This is where the island was taken, then held, by the British forces.

Oddly, I never saw a single red seagull with purple spots, perhaps because I didn't have any food.

Cognitively, I knew that it gets cold here, but it never really sunk in: during the winter the entire strait freezes and you can walk from here to Mackinaw City or to St. Ignace. The path to St. Ignace is called "The Ice Bridge," and is marked with leftover Christmas trees to become a highway for snowmobilers, skiers, and walkers.

I wonder how long this cairn has been there.

Arch Rock is a natural limestone formation standing 146 feet above Lake Huron, and a geological symbol of the island for centuries.

Another rainbow, this one shortly after it rained on us the second time. It would rain once more before we finished our ride.

Back in town we passed Doud’s Market, whose sign proclaims that it's "America's Oldest Grocery Store." I was skeptical, considering that this area wasn't settled until long after the first grocery store in the East would've been established, so I did a google search.

What I learned is that it's the oldest FAMILY-RUN grocery store still in operation in the country.

Mackinac Island is packed with tourists. Even now, after Labor Day, the streets had a fair number of people strolling around, wandering into shops to buy trinkets and fudge (every business sells fudge, and every third business sells it exclusively), or t-shirts ("I flexed my arms and the sleeves ripped off" and "I ♥️ my wiener," with a picture of a dachshund). A few people ventured carriage rides, and there were piles of horse manure in various stages of decomposition after having been rained on, or trampled on by other horses. The odor of horse manure permeated the business district and competed with the smell of cotton candy, fudge, and the wind off the lake.... and usually won.

By the time we finished riding around the island, the last ferry had departed so there were only a few remaining tourists, the ones spending the night here.

We decided to eat at one of the restaurants in town, hoping to secure a place on the outdoor patio and enjoy the waves lapping against the rocks, but they only had indoor seating so we found a table by the window.

This is the absolute cleanest you'll ever see Lake Shore Drive. Normally, there would be 15-20 piles of horse manure dropped decorously along the street. We saw a couple of different employees cleaning up the mess.

Man in bar: “Why it’s interesting you should ask. I work in the Hygienics Department for the City of Mackinac Island.”
Woman in bar: “The City has a Eugenics Department?"
Man in bar: "Ahhh, no..... HYGienics."
Woman in bar: "Really? And what kind of work do you do there?”
Man in bar: [22-minute exposition about the various tools available to scoop up horse manure, when to use which tool, a detailed explanation of various techniques to ensure the most efficient collection, and finally some complaining about his lazyass coworker, Larry, who thinks he’s a better technician that everyone else, and whose nose hairs he keeps finding in the sink]
Woman in bar: "That’s sooo fascinating, but if you’ll excuse me my pacemaker needs to be recharged so I need to leave immediately."

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The food at the restaurant was definitely subpar, especially for the price, but that's frequently what you get when you eat in a touristy area. While in the restroom, I noticed the name on the urinal strainer: “1st Ayd.” What in the world makes a company decide to crown a urinal strainer with that title? As I pondered the question, I also wondered what would happen if someone in the restaurant suddenly began developing chest pain, or shortness of breath. I pictured me sprinting to the restroom, snatching the strainer out of the urinal, and running back to the incapacitated person with it held in my fist high above my head. “I’ll save the day! I've got the 1st Ayd!!!”

Of course, your first question is, understandably: "Why didn't you take a picture of it??"

I considered it, but as I was standing at the urinal, starting to reach for my phone, I realized with absolute certainty that at the same instant I point my camera to the strainer, someone is going to walk through the door and see me.....and immediately turn around and walk back out. THEN how am I going to be a hero and save someone's life??

"Oh, him? He's the guy in the restroom who was taking pictures of himself at the toilet. Don't let him give mouth-to-mouth resuscitation to anyone. Better to let the guy die in agony."

Headlines: Man Taking Picture of His Junk Creates 1st Ayd Delay, Resulting in Restaurant Patron's Death. Subtitled: "I wish I hadn't wasted my time with the camera," Loser in Toilet States. "Then maybe I could've saved that guy's life."

We finished our dinner and walked outside to find that the rain earlier was merely a preliminary sprinkle. The skies had simply been waiting for us to finish our meal so it could get on with its main purpose: dumping water on us.

Because I was wearing my recently-purchased tennis shoes instead of my cycling sandals I needed to devise a creative way to protect them, so we asked for bags from the restaurant.

If the burglaring gig doesn't work out, she could have a career as a plastic bag shoe cover model.

Arriving back to our room, we realized our mistake: Never trust the weather forecast. Our clothes were still on the deck, half of which were now on the ground. They couldn't have been wetter if we'd just pulled them out of the bathtub, completely soaked and dripping.

We wrung them out again, then hung them on the clothesline and ran two fans all night.

Heather and I are friends with Lori and her husband, Damien. We go out to dinner together, we go to cultural events together, and sometimes we have each other over for dinner. One thing we don't do is poop in each other's restrooms.

Now that Lori and I are sharing a hotel room, the first of several, the question arises: How do we navigate the malodorous smell after a bowel movement? It's something that needs to be addressed, and I believe there are several options:
1. Completely ignore the smell. This is always the easiest, but it has to be a mutual, unspoken agreement, that says, "I have never had a bowel movement, and neither have you."
2. Come up with an alternative explanation. Pretend it's a burst sewage pipe, or perhaps an animal that crawled under the building and died a couple of days ago. Walk out of the bathroom, shake your head, and say, "Wow, I really thought this was going to be a better quality hotel." The downside is that this requires increasingly creative reasons for the smell: "I think there must be a portable toilet nearby. I'll bet they're cleaning it now," and "Uh-oh. I'd better check the bottom of my shoe. I think I stepped in it."
3. Only go in public restrooms. Gross. No thanks. Just give me a herpetic rash without me having to endure that kind of abuse.
4. Air it out. This, importantly, is a metaphorical statement, not a literal one. Intentionally airing out a restroom when someone else is there would end a friendship faster than it would take to burgle an apartment, or even empty a toilet tank. Instead, walk out, close the door firmly behind you, then make firm eye contact and say, "You might not want to go in there for a while."

One of us needed to make this decision early on in our cycling relationship. I'm not going to say which one of us in the hopes that you might think it's Lori, and you should definitely consider the fact that it could be her.

Really.

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Today's ride: 23 miles (37 km)
Total: 3,084 miles (4,963 km)

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