99: let's shoot it!, unemployed smokey, the hell I can't, kangadeer, congestion, memorial poles, uncle willy at it again, horseshit and butterflies, not my first choice, skamper excitement, butt rub

August 4, 2025

Lake to Chase

Most of the mile markers appear aged, and about a quarter of them have pock marks from bullets. "Hey, that thing looks real old. Let's shoot it!" This one remains unscathed.

I don't see Smokey the Bear much any more. It makes me wonder if he got laid off.

The hell I can't! This is America, an' I got my rights!

I wondered why I kept seeing signs along the trail indicating where you can buy gas....

...when motorized vehicles are prohibited on the trail.

I was inching closer to this guy in order to get a better picture...

...when this guy bolted out of the brush in front of me, disappearing in a flash.

I just can't seem to get away from downtown Detroit.

All of the light poles in Reed City were donated.

A tailwind and a generally smooth surface hoisted my average speed by almost 3 mph.

In Clare, the Pere Marquette RailTrail becomes the Pere Marquette State Trail and parts of it are no longer paved.

There was an astonishing amount of horse manure on the trail, about every fifty yards. I haven't seen a single horse anywhere, on the trail or elsewhere.

Why is it "horse manure," "cat poop," "dog shit," and "deer scat?" Never "dog manure," "horse poop," or "cat scat?" ("Horse shit" is used, but only when referring to anything coming from the mouth of a politician)

Butterflies were swarming all over the manure like it was gourmet chocolate, something to remember the next time I try to get one to alight on my finger.

There aren’t any available hotels within fifty miles, nor are there any campgrounds, so I planned to pitch a tent in the Reed City cemetery. However, when I checked AirBnB I found a small trailer in Chase Township that would suit my meager needs. I left the trail and pedaled up the hill to the Dollar General to purchase dinner and breakfast, and finally arrived at the camper around 3:30. This waas taken from the Dollar General. Rail Trails are nice, allowing me to avoid hills like this.

Well..... not my FIRST choice, or even my second choice.

Alex and I messaged back and forth and I learned that he normally leases it to hunters, but didn’t this year. Consequently, there’s no water in the tank so he’s just going to let me stay for free. He works at Ice Mountain Water, and even said he'd get one of his employees to bring a bunch of water over for me to drink.

It has air conditioning which, at this point, is more important than a shower.

When I arrived at the trailer, I opened the door and was greeted with this.

I see socks, boots, and pants. Does that mean there's a guy walking around wearing nothing but a shirt? Perhaps painting "No Hunting, No Trespass" signs?

A tentative "hello?" got no answer, but I still had the sense that someone was there, or had been recently. Maybe in the bathroom? Unsure about what to do, but sure I didn't want to open the bathroom door even if the possibility of someone being inside was remote, I stepped back outside and messaged the host.

Unsurprisingly, I got no response, so I took a stroll around the property.

Eventually, I went back inside, made sure no one was there, living or dead, then turned the air conditioning up to high. I positioned myself on the opposite seat from where the pants were so that I could see anyone who drove up, giving me the opportunity to slip out the back before they got very close... especially since I couldn't tell if the door was actually locking or not.

When I sent Heather pictures of the place (inside as well) and told her what's going on she immediately called me. She was concerned for my safety, thinking that, I suppose, someone would soon be pulling up in a duallie, see the bicycle outside, then spray the entire camper with some type of large-caliber automatic weapon.

“What’s the worst that could happen?" I asked, then continued. "Alex doesn’t answer, some guy pulls up in a truck, then I go out and have a conversation with him. If I end up not being able to stay in the trailer I'll just pitch a tent behind it.”

“I don’t think that’s actually the ‘worst case scenario.' You forgot to add the part where he shoots you.”

“Ohhhhhh, wait, I get it… What you actually mean is, ‘What’s the worst thing that can happen if I’m going to catastrophize the situation?'”

Two and a half hours after my first text, I messaged him again.

Translation: Does Big Earl live around here, and will he be crawling into bed with me at 2:00 in the morning?

Alex eventually messaged me, and when he found out what was going on let me know that he'd be there as soon as he could - in about twenty minutes.

When he arrived, around 7:30, he let me know about his work day: 05:00 in the morning until 7:00 in the evening, mainly because no one wants to work anymore. He spends three weeks training them ("$25.00 to $28.00 an hour - great pay for this area"), but as soon as they're trained they just don't show up. When I asked why, he said "kids these days" just have a different work ethic.

While he was there, he unlocked the barn and showed me his dad’s tractors, which are still being used.

At 38, he's trying to get back in shape by running on the Rail Trail, but it’s hard with a family and the long work hours. I asked him if he ever sees bike tourists when he runs on the trail, but he said no.

He also let me know that "There was a brown bear here for about a week, but I guess he found a girlfriend and left."

Unsurprisingly, to me if not to Heather, it all worked out okay. He had asked his 13-year-old niece to come clean it up, but apparently 13-year-olds have a different standard for “clean.” He gathered everything up and took it all with him.

Considering that this is free, I didn't mind the inconvenience.

Wow.... I REALLY need to start reading labels more carefully.

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Today's ride: 38 miles (61 km)
Total: 2,652 miles (4,268 km)

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