92: going to canada, patton at ace, we're closed, roughing it smoothly, french fry trees, fountain, solar powered stop, blue water bridge, rock snake, tent revival, exmouth, kissing ships, dynamite on skates, “I'm givin’ her all I’ve got, Captain!”

July 28, 2025

Kimball to Sarnia

You may have noticed that I've been going east instead of west. I noticed, too, and it is intentional. I'd like to go to Canada, mainly to say I went to Canada.

I wrote out for you all my original routes, and change of plans, and why, then deleted it because, honestly, it's boring to the point of inducing psychosis, better than any sedative. In fact, I nodded off for a minute trying get rid of it. Here's the condensed version:

I'm crossing in Sarnia instead of Algonac because I didn't want to die as I pedaled through Detroit.

Months ago, during my preparation, I asked a Warm Showers host in Sarnia, Ontario, about crossing the bridge back to the U.S. on a bike. He messaged me that you can't ride across: "You have to get a ride across the Blue Water bridge in a taxi. "

I don't think he's ever taken a taxi across, because at $175.00 each way, it isn't an option. Nor is an Uber, because they have to have some type of special license to transport people. I looked at a rental car and some other options, and eventually settled on a somewhat reasonably-priced U-Haul truck.

The rental agency for U-Haul is the at Ace Hardware store. If you're not familiar with Ace Hardware, they're one of those stores that has everything. "Cork swimsuit? Sure, aisle 12. And those chicken eye protectors are over on 14." Also, since there are 17 million items in the store, how does every employee somehow know where every item is, even the pizza scissors and Jesus face pancake griddle?

Once everything was lined up for the rental, I started pedaling to the hardware store.

I pedaled the eight miles to pick up the rental and, even though it was downhill and required minimal exertion, by the time I arrived at 9:00 I was drenched in sweat, my clothes sticking to me. The humidity was 88%.

The process took about 45 minutes because the U-Haul computer system was down, as was the backup, but the Patton Oswalt lookalike/soundalike was still able to help, and I got a cheaper truck as a result.

I spent 20 minutes adjusting the mirrors, the vents, learning how to turn on the windshield wipers in case some sweaty cyclist passes me, and all of the other things you don't want to figure out while driving a four-ton rental truck. Then I drove around the parking lot a couple of times to get a feel for it.

Unfortunately, Canada appears to be closed (and who can blame them?).

I circled around and sat at a stop sign trying to figure out what to do and, surprised, I saw a truck turn in. In spite of all the cones and barricades, it's just construction, and there is a way through.

The sign said "No Trucks" but I ignored it.

After merging with the traffic on Interstate 94, I never exceeded 30 mph. No one else was either, because there was some kind of traffic problem. It took over an hour to drive the 3.1 miles to my hotel, which was longer than it took me to pedal more than 8 miles this morning.

"Roughing It Smoothly" is an understatement.

Not an exaggeration: this has more square footage than the first house I lived in as a kid.

When I pulled up to Immigration Inspection Booth, the Border Patrol Agent asked for my passport. He was about 50, with short-cropped hair and the bored affect of someone who's seen a lot over the years. Or maybe not enough.

Border Patrol: "How long are you going to be in Canada?"
Me: "Just overnight in Sarnia."
Border Patrol: "Just overnight? What's in the back?"
Me: "A bicycle. I'm riding from Key West to the UP, and just wanted to say I went to Canada. But you can't ride over the bridge, so I had to rent a U-Haul."
A little bit curious now.
Border Patrol: "And you're going to ride your bike around in Sarnia? Where you gonna ride?"
Me: "I dunno. Got any suggestions?"
At this point, the guy really perked up. After thirty years on the force, finally something to pique his interest, someone to listen to what he's always wanted to tell tourists.
Border Patrol: "Ride under this bridge to see how beautiful it is. And get some fries."
Me: "I'll do that. Where should I get them?"
Border Patrol: "Anywhere..." he whispered, with a longing gaze into the sky and an expansive wave of his arm that indicated that there are dozens of french fry trees from which you could pluck this delicacy.
Me: "I will absolutely ride down there and get me some fries."

When I finally arrived at my hotel this morning, unsurprisingly, my room wasn't ready so I dropped off my bags, making sure to take my charging cable so I could work on the blog at a coffee shop. When I found a nice, quiet spot to work I realized that although I brought the charger, I didn't bring my laptop.

It's time to check out those french fry trees anyway, so after finishing my croissant I started riding toward the bridge.

I took a circuitous route along the water's edge.

I saw this one street over and when I pedaled just a block away from the water the temperature seemed to go up by about 10 degrees.

I never did figure out what the solar is powering. There's no smoking, so it's not a fan. Lights, maybe?

The Blue Water Bridge is actually quite the marvel.

I looked all over for a french fry tree, but only found a few food trucks.

I was going to just see the bridge and turn around, and maybe pluck a fry or two off a tree, but the temperature was so pleasant along the water that I kept riding.

I wasn't expecting the water to be so clear.

On the way back to the hotel I passed a casino. Nothing beautifies a nice walk along the water more than a garish casino sign, especially at night.

If I can remember, I'll pop in this evening. If I'm lucky, maybe there will be snake handlers. I've been to a tent revival before but didn't see any snake handlers. Always wanted to, though.

Without context, Exmouth is an interesting name: “It WAS a mouth, but now it’s a second nose.”

Here’s what I learned to give you some context: it's a compound name coming from the River Exe and "mouth,” and its location is at the mouth of the River Exe in England. The name "Exe" probably comes from an ancient Celtic word meaning "fish.” Thus, Exmouth literally means "the mouth of the River Exe." Mark M., this is your English neck of the woods, so feel free to correct me if I'm wrong.

There is, however, something that I don't understand.… if “exe” means fish, and “mouth” means mouth, then why wouldn't the literal translation be “Fishmouth?” (except for the obviously practical purpose of trying to sell real estate there)

Some facts I discovered about Sarnia:
* It was the first city in Canada with an electric streetcar system.
* In 2011, Sarnia had the highest air pollution levels in Canada and was called "Chemical Valley," but they've cleaned up their act.
* James Doohan (Scotty from Star Trek) moved here from Vancouver in his early years and graduated from high school in Sarnia.
* Astronaut Chris Hadfield and legendary video game creator Sid Meier were born here.
* In 2009, Sarnia built Canada’s largest solar power plant, the Sarnia Solar Project.
* In 1917, German agents attempted to blow up the St. Clair river tunnel by putting dynamite on a roller skate platform and pushing it down the tunnel, but were arrested before they were able to do it.

This may seem like a non sequitur, but did I ever tell you I went to Yale? More about that tomorrow.

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Today's ride: 15 miles (24 km)
Total: 2,412 miles (3,882 km)

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Karen PoretYale? The University or the lock company…🤔
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